Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
