"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
