So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
