we have officially lost it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
