Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
