make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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