Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
