I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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