I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize