Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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