You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
