i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Randomize
