she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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