Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
