the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
