i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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