we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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