i don't like sucking hair
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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