Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
