He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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