Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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