what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
