I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
