haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
