Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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