He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
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You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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