and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So much rum. So many feels.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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