Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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