i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
