haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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