Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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