How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
one two three fourrrrnication!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize