Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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