Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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