Whod you bang
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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