anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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