god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
