turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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