At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
