How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize