I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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