last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
