I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
