hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Drunk is not a location!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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