She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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