I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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