Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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