Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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