I cannot find my penis.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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