i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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