Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
