I'm gonna have a badass scar
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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