her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
